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Award-winning movie director, Lancelot Imasuen and his wife Aimua, talk about their seven-year-old marriage


How did you meet?


Lancelot: We met in April 2006. I had a very long trip from abroad and on arrival, I decided not to board a flight but go by road. I got to the park in Benin and we sat together in the bus. When I told her my name, she was excited because her elder sister was my fan. I asked her out for lunch which she obliged. All attempts to make her see me after, proved abortive. I proposed to her on the day I was to travel to Hollywood. I was scared that if I could get a Hollywood invite in 2006, then the future would be bright and I had to get married and not get entangled in the web of fame. I wanted to do something unique that day and I proposed to her. She ended the call and I decided to let her go. When I returned from that trip in August, she was the first person to call me. I asked if she was back to me again and she ended the call. I called her back and we scheduled to meet. She came to Lagos on my invitation. I knew she thought that I would ask for sex but for the six days she spent in Lagos, I didn’t ask for sex. Later, she accepted my proposal. We got married in May 2007.


How did you feel when he proposed?


Aimua: I was a bit worried about his person. He was already a celebrity and I had to know who he really was and who he depended on spiritually.


What was the attraction?


Lancelot: She appeared very peaceful, while I am on the vibrant side. I needed a contrast.


Aimua: His honesty, loyalty and relationship with God attracted me. I didn’t expect him to have that level of commitment spiritually.


Was there any opposition?


Aimua: There was none from my family, but there was no encouragement from my friends. I didn’t know him too well, and I talked to people who knew him. They said I should change my mind about him. His family members were very excited. I had to pray about it because of my father. If he hadn’t approved of the relationship, I wouldn’t have married him. Surprisingly, when I told him, he asked when we were fixing the date.


What were the initial challenges you faced?


Lancelot: We didn’t court for long and she didn’t know what it entailed to be a film maker. I travel a lot and I had problems with my wife adjusting. It was quite hellish! Sometimes, I felt her pains when I was not around, and I thank God we survived it. I told her the reality and that it could get worse, except if she didn’t want me to grow in my business. Now, I create some balances. Sometimes, I wouldn’t want her to cook and we would all go out to a restaurant. Adjustment was easy for me because I was mentally prepared.


Aimua: It wasn’t very easy adjusting and I am still learning. I had to grow up and let unimportant things slip by. I tried to understand him, his background and what he has been through in life. That helped me to understand his reaction to issues and not get him angry. I learnt to respect him and how to trust more in God and let issues I cannot handle go to Him. When he is not home I miss him, but over the years, I have been able to occupy myself positively with my job and the children.


Were there other persons before you got married?


Lancelot: I was dating someone who I never proposed to.


Aimua: Yes, there was a man I was dating but he wasn’t ready to get married. I prayed that the separation should be peaceful if it was God’s wish and it happened.


How is your marriage now?


Lancelot: We have been married for seven years and we have three children. We quarrel, but there is love and care. It has been fun but also difficult living with someone you never knew.


What has kept your marriage going?


Aimua: In these seven years, God has been the rock. I cannot say it is because I am pretty; my meals are delicious; or that I am wonderful. God has been our help. Marriage is like baking a cake. The icing makes it attractive and everyone wants to have a taste of it.


Have you caught him with any other woman?


Aimua: No I haven’t. Before I got married, there was no woman. Since I got married, I learned to mind my business and I believe my husband is faithful to me because I trust in God. I can’t bother myself with things that don’t concern me. The most important thing is that I am his wife, the mother of his children and God is in our marriage.


How would you describe each other?


Lancelot: She is a very nice woman, she can go all out to make people around her happy, but could also get angry when the need arises. We are getting to understand ourselves more. She is beautiful, enlightened and fits into any circle. In all, she is God-fearing and lovable, ready to learn.


Aimua: Directing is his job but he is not a director at home. He is a very calm and peace-loving person. He tells me that he shouts when at work, but when he gets home everywhere has to be peaceful. He just wants everyone to be happy. His pastime is playing with the kids.


What causes quarrels in the home?


Lancelot: She is a perfectionist and when it is not like that, she shouts and I would have to tell her to calm down. There is usually trouble when she calls me and I do not pick it. She would not understand that I must have been busy or that the phone wasn’t with me. I wouldn’t deliberately ignore her calls. Sometimes, she wouldn’t call and she gets angry that I never called during the day. We know the things that cause quarrels and we try to avoid them.


Aimua: When I have to yell at someone at home, it annoys him. I tell him we have to bring up the children rightly, and he will say we don’t have to reprimand them all the time. He wants me to pamper them always. Those are the things that cause our arguments. I try to understand his point of view and these days, I minimise the shouts.


How do you settle disputes?


Lancelot: When we got married, I used to report her to her mother but it hasn’t happened for four years. She knows when I get angry or react, I can never hit her.


Aimua: We talk about it when the time is right, probably when the kids have gone to bed or when we are alone. We talk issues over and they are resolved. Sometimes, when he offends me, he buys me gifts and nobody gets to know.


How do you spend time together?


Aimua: We watch television together, preview movies together in the house, and sometimes, we listen to music.


Lancelot: I take her out and I like to buy her gifts, which she really appreciates.


Who is more extravagant?


Lancelot: I am.


What qualities do you have in common?


Lancelot: We are both very godly. We cannot deliberately hurt each other and we are not too proud to say sorry. She is very humble. Most women that are married to celebrities feel they are being intimidated or overshadowed.


What pet names do you call each other?


Aimua: I call him baby.


Lancelot: I call her Muamua (pronounced ‘momo’), culled from her name, Aimua. I started calling her that before we got married.

The Couple spoke to Sunday Punch

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