Nollywood: 25 World Class Lashes By Chima Okereke

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When he watched Nollywood from outside, he knows everything that can make movies stand out! He shouts everywhere; “we should be doing ‘world class movies’, not these nonsense!”
Then…
1. He wonders why heavy weight, film teaching Nollywood people can not do “world class movies”.
2. So he found money, put his mouth where his brain did not reach, and set out to produce “world class movie”.
3. He had issues with scriptwriter or he became issue of the scriptwriter.
4. He searched right locations for weeks.
5. Then he changed some crew members because he wanted “world class” production.
6. Then he had issues with actors. Or actors had issues with him.
7. Then he had issues with locations and props.
8. Then he ran short of liquid cash to maintain “world class” production, so he begged people to agree to adjustments.
9. Then he managed to finish principal photography.
10. He had issue with editing and colour, until…
11. Then he became angry when he was told that such movie themes do not bring audience.
12. So he became “angrier” when he was told to hold on for weeks to get dates and favourable time schedules to screen his “world class” movie in the cinema chains.
13. Then he gave the F finger, insisted that he did a “world class” content and “released” his “world class film”.
14. He went on a TV and radio runs mixed with social media sponsored posts, to “promote and publicize” his film according to him, “the way it’s done in Hollywood”.
15. Then he became infuriated that a star didn’t come for the premiere.
16. Then reality hit so bad, people didn’t come to watch the film.
17. Six days after the Saturday première, the film was taken off screen as people were not interested.
18. Then he says Nigerians do not identify world class film like his, but troop to watch jollof stories of the fake comic Nigerian rich.
19. He is bitter that even platforms on pay TV are not rushing to “acquire” this “world class” story and movie!
20. He remembers that “quitters” never win, so he must continue the journey in Nollywood…
21. He is searching for a RomCom(actually low budget) to shoot.
22. He has has been whipped and has learnt the bitter lesson.
23. Who is wise now?
24. I’m sure you know someone with many or some of these experiences above.
25. So wait until you wear the shoe!
Welcome to Reality

©Chima Okereke 04/12/19

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